God Complex
by emmymae
Summary: A parody of the Messiah Complex and Endangered Species X-Men series crossover. Ch. 3: The conclusion: Professor X gets shot and Gambit gets left in the cold, again.
1. Opening Gambit

Disclaimer: The X-Men, characters, and likenesses are all property of the Marvel Company. This is a work of fan fiction and no profit is intended. Mike Carey rules!

A/N: This a lovingly written parody of Messiah Complex and Endangered Species with some poetic license taken as to characters and plot.

**Ch. 1-Opening Gambit**

Rachel Grey-Summers was sitting in the lounge of the Xavier Institute reading a trashy novel when she heard a loud knock at the door. She thought it was strange considering the Sentinels had been heavily patrolling the school for months and wouldn't allow any unauthorized individuals into the school. Rachel ran to the door bracing herself for who, or what, was on the other side. She opened it slowly and to her surprise beheld someone strangely familiar. He was black like coal with white hair and glowing red eyes, and attired in a black bondage outfit with matching trench coat.

"Gambit!?" She gasped. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I was just in the neighborhood," he replied.

"My ass. You were just written out of the comic," Rachel sarcastically remarked.

"So were you," Gambit quipped. "But I get to come back and you don't."

"Don't be cheeky, you creep. My mother is after all the Phoenix!" she shouted as she telekinetically knocked Gambit, or Deathbit, as he was now known, backwards off the doorstep and slammed the door behind her.

Meanwhile, in Sh'iar space, Havok and Polaris were lounging about the space station staring at the multitude of stars outside the window. They hadn't had anything significant to do in several issues and had been bemoaning their exclusion from the current X-Men crossover. This had caused Havok to become unusually philosophical to Polaris' consternation.

"Lorna, " Havok wondered aloud, "What is the meaning of life?"

"That's a stupid question," Polaris replied removing the cucumbers from her eyes. "Don't tell me, you're channeling Beast again."

"No, I just wondered."

He lay in deep thought for a moment. "Lorna...would you marry me again?"

"Lay off the crack, Alex" she said as she smacked him.

Polaris replaced the cucumbers on her eyes and went back to sleep. Havok kept staring at the ceiling wondering why this kind of thing never happened to Scott.

Back on earth, Rogue's team was having a major crisis. After being stricken with Strain 88, and then, if that wasn't bad enough, having to absorb 8 billion alien minds from the Hecatomb, Rogue was barely functioning. She hardly knew who she was. Her teammates, the two sane ones at least, were at a loss to help her. The team had come to her childhood home in Caldecott County, Mississippi to regroup and reconsider their strategy. They sat down around the kitchen table and Cannonball, having been the former leader of the New Mutants, decided to take charge.

"Ok, y'all, we have this mutant extinction problem," he began, sounding just like Rogue herself, "An' we're gonna have ta take out all o' those threats b'fore they get us. Now accordin' ta some reports Ah heard, our team is gonna get betrayed from the inside out," he said while looking in the direction of Lady Mastermind and Mystique.

"Kill 'em all!" Rogue yelled before then starting to babble incoherently in some alien language. Everyone stared at her.

Suddenly, the X-Jet landed in the front yard and Cyclops, Emma Frost, Beast, Colossus, and Wolverine appeared.

"Who called in tha calvery?" Rogue remarked in a moment of lucidity.

"I did," said Iceman. "We're in the middle of a crisis. You're insane, deadly to the touch, and we're about to be betrayed."

"Oh, yes you are," said Lady Mastermind sounding sinister.

Meanwhile, the computer that Karima Shapandar was using emitted a blue flash and Malice entered her body making her evil. She found this mildly amusing, as it was a computer that had made her an omega sentinel in the first place. Lady Mastermind and the possessed Karima sat on the couch. The rest of Rogue's team braced themselves for the obvious battle with the Marauders. The other X-Men entered and not even Emma could detect there was something malicious in the air. Lady Mastermind, who had cast an illusion to cover up the Marauders, finally revealed the powerful foes.

"Fooled ya, suckers!" she cried.

Mystique started shooting at the collected X-Men, which didn't surprise them considering she had always been evil. The Marauders, and former X-Men, were easily defeating them. Even Wolverine was outnumbered and considering retirement. In the heat of battle, Iceman was de-powered. He desperately wished he hadn't slept with Mystique, who had planted a power-neutralizing substance on him. Rogue, using her last ounce of strength, tried to save her friends with her firepower, but it was in vain. Mystique noticed and shot her immediately. As she succumbed to the bullet, Rogue could only think about how much she wanted to smack Gambit for joining Apocalypse. She also really needed to use the bathroom.


	2. Broken Cable

Disclaimer: The X-Men, associated characters and likenesses are the property of the Marvel Company. This is a work of fan fiction and no profit is being made from it.

**Broken Cable**

Cable considered himself a patient man. He had endured endless time travel and the loss of his wife and adopted son. This was certainly no surprise considering he lived in a comic book and such things were regular occurrences. The fact he hadn't been killed off was a godsend indeed. But at this very moment, Cable's concerns were with saving the fate of the remaining mutants. He had been standing at the controls on the island of Providence for some hours asking his computer, aptly named the Professor, the meaning of a cryptic phrase. Suddenly, from behind him came a familiar voice and the telltale scent of cheap aftershave.

"Gambit," said Cable.

"Aww, come on mon ami. You're not supposed to notice me until the next panel where I make my grand re-entrance," replied the gorgeous Cajun.

"My bad. And since when don't you have an accent? Cable remarked getting a good look at him. "And you're not all black anymore."

"Uhh...let's not mention dat."

"Whatever. I'll go back to what I was doing and you go make your grand entrance."

Both men resumed their previous places and Gambit, in a graceful maneuver, leaped over the scattered debris charged cards in hand for his glorious, full-panel entrance. The sighs of thousands of fan girls could be heard in the distance.

"Showoff," said Cable.

"And now for my glorious line: 'pick a card, my friend, for old times' sake' (X-Men #200)," said Gambit.

"My friend? Are you actually Gambit or some Skrull shape shifter?"

"That plot ain't gonna happen f'r another year." Cable stared at him impatiently. "Ok, ok. I wan' ask your computer a 'lil question: 'one minute before dawn' (X-Men #200)."

"That was the same question I was asking, you idiot," replied Cable.

"You're not supposed to know."

"What part of newly re-instated telepathic powers do you not understand?"

"Don' get testy now."

"Get off of my island you pink pansy!"

"If you wan' it dat way," Gambit said with his trademark smirk.

Both men started fighting. Cable retrieved his guns from underneath the computer and began firing on Gambit who easily avoided every shot. Gambit retaliated with some well-placed charged cards. They pursued each other throughout the vicinity neither making much headway. Much of the already decimated island was further destroyed. Cable quickly realized that the computer was in danger and ran to save it. He had gathered that Gambit was working for Mr. Sinister once again from his inter-dimensional contact Sage, and with that knowledge knew that he had to keep the computer, with its complex database on different dimensions, genetic research, and other interesting stuff, safe from Sinister's cronies. Cable ran to the computer and entered the self-destruct code, knowing that it might cost him his life. So much for character immunity.

Gambit seeing this knew that he had to rapidly get off the island so he radioed his friend and fellow horseman of Apocalypse, Sunfire, who was stationed nearby. Sunfire flew Gambit and himself out just before the island blew.

Half a world away in Antarctica, Rogue awoke on a cold, steel pallet. Looking around her she saw several large machines, one of which appeared to a giant MRI. There were also tanks filled with green fluid and strange humanoid life forms. Rogue knew from the look of the place that she was in Sinister's lab. She had no idea how she had gotten there but she knew it had something to do with Mystique. One thing was certain: that if she didn't find a bathroom soon someone was gonna die. Rogue tried to get up but she could hardly do so considering her chest hurt like hell.

_Oh well_, she thought, _it's not like Ah haven't had worse_.

_Yes, you have, _said another voice in her head.

"Didn't Ah tell y'all to shut up!" she yelled.

"Temper, temper," said a strange voice behind her.

"Oh, let meh guess. It's tha boogey man."

"How did you know, my dear?" Sinister sneered as he appeared from the shadows.

"Yoah just so clever, you sneaky bastard. Ah was just gonna ask where tha bathroom was, before the psyches come back and Ah lose consciousness again."

"We have some proper means of taking care of such matters. Now back to sleep with you," he said as he raised his hand, causing Rogue to fall back asleep.

"Yoah gonna be toast when Ah wake up," she said as she drifted off.

Mystique promptly walked in at that moment to find her foster daughter asleep as before. In some ways she still thought of Rogue as that willful 10-year-old she had found in the woods of Mississippi. Of course those terrible X-Men took her talented protégée away from her and she had tried ever since to get her back. But now of course she had to save her Anna from the terrible Strain 88 and those 8 billion alien minds plaguing her sanity.

Mystique resumed her place by Rogue's bedside, or rather her steel gurney, awaiting the arrival of the child who would heal her daughter. That would not happen for some issues to come so she had a great deal of time on her hands. And besides, the fans weren't supposed to know about the mutant baby as of yet. There was a long silence before she said anything to Sinister.

"Will she make it?" pleaded Mystique.

"No. Your daughter is going to die," he replied.

"Is that all you think about? Even I, a heartless bitch, sometimes think about nice things. You should try it sometime."

"I'll pass, thank you."

"Y'all are so boring," said a familiar voice.

"Rogue, you're supposed to be unconscious," said Mystique.

There had moments before been some great excitement in Sinister's lair when the Marauders dispatched Cannonball and Iceman. They had come to find Destiny's Diaries that foretold of the birth of the first mutant baby since M-Day. They were greatly outnumbered and had barely made it out with their lives. Sinister used a neural scrambler on Cannonball and ordered Gambit and Scalphunter to deal the killing blow. However, Gambit missed on purpose and destroyed the Diaries while also deflecting Scalphunter's bullet. This thus proved that Remy had not in fact become evil.

Fortunately, Iceman quickly planned their escape with the timely help of Emma Frost and the two had made it back to the Xavier Institute. Cannonball had also suffered several broken bones and some internal bleeding. It would be some weeks before he recovered from his injuries, just in time for the next story arc.

For the time being Mystique would just have to wait. Her greatest concern at the moment, however, was how to get a 150-year-old immortal mad scientist to stop breathing down her neck. She had never really like men; they always seemed to her to be amazingly tedious.

Thousands of miles away, Cable stood on a snowy cliff high above the forests of Alaska holding a tiny bundle. This was the long-awaited mutant baby whose name, unbeknownst to Cable, was Rebecca. The little sweetie was fast asleep in his arms quietly snoring.

He said to Rebecca quietly, "'One minute before dawn.' Looks like we've made it, kid (adapted from X-Men #204.)"

Cable swore to himself that he wouldn't let anything happen to her. She would not have to endure ret-cons, cloning, or alternate selves. And it wouldn't take 40 or so years for her to marry her true love. Cable was determined that Rebecca would have the good life.


	3. Going Rogue

Disclaimer: The X-Men, associated characters and likenesses are the property of the Marvel Company. This is a work of fan fiction and no profit is being made from it.

A/N: To the people reading this, I am sorry for taking so long to write another chapter. My life has been crazy as of late. To the rest of you: tell me what you think of it, and I will make my best effort to read your stories.

**Going Rogue**

"So where y'all wan' put her?" asked Gambit holding baby Rebecca.

"Next to the mantle-piece, what do you think?" snarked Mystique.

"I t'ink you're a bitch," he retorted.

Gambit had returned to the lab after saving the baby from the clutches of Bishop, who for some reason had gone evil. Remy thought it was due to the ill effects of too much time travel. Or maybe perhaps it was because Bishop had been raised by a future version of him. Whatever the reason Bishop wanted to kill this child to prevent his awful future. Gambit had encountered him a few moments after he had shot Forge and left him for dead. Despite their previous relationship, Remy knew Bishop no longer meant any good. It was an unfortunate situation.

"Where ya think ya goin?" Gambit said as he swooped down upon Bishop with his fellow Marauders.

"Buzz off, LeBeau," Bishop replied shooting his plasma rifle at him.

"I know what ya did an' I don' like it."

"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black. I don't have time for this."

Bishop then leaped at him but Gambit managed to knock Bishop over and grab the confused and crying baby. Rebecca had no idea what all these men were trying to do to her, but she knew she didn't like it. She had been safe in the arms of Cable until Bishop, on a mission from Cyclops to track Nathan down, shot him and kidnapped her. Then he made his way to Forge's lab in Dallas. Cable had gotten there too late to save him. He had no idea at that moment of Rebecca's whereabouts.

So here Rebecca was in the arms of a gorgeous guy in a lab straight out of a Ray Bradbury novel. This was quite an odd start to her life on earth. Mystique broke the awkward silence.

"LeBeau, are with us?" she asked. He gave her an uncomfortable look. It was clear to see that Gambit hated Mystique. Remy wished at that moment that he had succeeded in killing her back during the "Dream's End" story arc. But he had someone more important to think about: the lovely lady lying motionless on the steel pallet. Gambit was determined to make it up to Rogue. At that moment, a shadowy yet familiar character came up behind them.

"Rogue's going to die, you know," sneered Sinister.

"You first!" shouted Mystique grabbing him and throwing him against Rogue's bare skin. He instantly fell to the ground.

"Mon Dieu, he's dead," said Gambit in complete shock and relief. "I'm free. Guess I'm not gon' kill you after all."

"Save the thanks. I didn't do it for your sake," she groused.

"Oh come on, y'all are takin' forever," came a familiar drawl from the steel pallet. "Ah still have to go ta tha bathroom."

"Ok, ok. But get yourself back here ASAP," said Mystique. "It's on the left."

At that moment, the X-Men including Cyclops, Emma Frost, Storm, Wolverine, Nightcrawler, Beast, and some other lesser characters had found Sinister's lab in Antarctica. Cannonball and Iceman were unfortunately out of commission for the battle. They were converging on the lab to rescue the mutant baby at last. Wolverine and the rest had already fought the Purifiers and the Marauders for the honor of possessing Rebecca, and their enemies had lost. This was mostly because of Wolverine's indestructible nature, and extensive fan base.

Upon hearing their approach, Mystique made her move. She grabbed poor Rebecca from Gambit, despite his best efforts to stop her, and put her up against Rogue's bare skin. A huge flash of light shone throughout the lab.

"You jes' killed a baby!" Gambit yelled.

"No, I didn't. Destiny's diary told me that the baby would remove all the foreign psyches from Rogue's mind. And it won't kill her," Mystique explained.

Rebecca was perfectly fine. She didn't know what the fuss was about. She was tired though from all her exploits.

Rogue finally had her glorious moment returning from the brink of certain death. Gambit ran to her pallet-side as she awoke and proceeded to smack him.

"Wha' was dat for?" Remy asked completely shocked.

"That's for tha fan girls," she retorted. "Okay, you. If ya evah do that ta me again, Ah'm sickin' Logan on ya."

"But chere, I had t'save m'self from relative obscurity. I couldn' be no love sick puppy forever. I'm supposed t'womanize an' vandalize-" He was interrupted by Rogue slapping him again. "Alright, I'll shut up."

Mystique was as close to joy as she ever got. "Anna, I thought I'd lost you."

"Stop pretendin' Ah care," she sneered. Rogue took off her glove to reveal her bare hand. "This one's for you, Mama." She put her hand on Mystique's face, which caused her to fall over.

"Whoa, girl, you're brutal," Gambit remarked quickly grabbing baby Rebecca from Mystique's limp hands.

"She didn't die, Remy," Rogue said. "An' now comes tha part where Ah tell ya ta buzz off."

"Fine, chère. You jes' go an' do dat. I think I'll go see m' friend Jim Beam."

"Good luck, sugah. Ah'll miss ya cute buns," Rogue said as she walked away.

At that moment Professor X appeared from the other side of the room strangely ambulatory.

"Mon Dieu, Professor, you can walk," exclaimed Gambit.

"Fancy seeing you here, Remy. I'm going to need that baby," said the Professor.

"Ok, jes' don' wake her up. She's fussy, dis one," Remy said handing her over.

The Professor then walked out the door leaving Gambit to brood, and ponder how to get out of Antarctica a second time. Rogue had a tendency to leave him in really cold places.

All the other X-Men had entered Sinister's lab and were awaiting the arrival of the mutant baby. Cable rushed to grab Rebecca from Professor X but Cyclops noticeably objected.

"Nathan, you can't take her with you," ordered Cyclops.

"Dad, she won't survive if I don't take her to the future," pleaded Cable.

"No one tells me no. I am the leader of the X-Men after all."

"I am also leader of the X-Men, but you do not ever remember," interjected Storm.

"That was the 90's," retorted Cyclops. "And besides, you don't speak in this issue."

Storm was about to throw a lighting bolt at him when Bishop burst into the building. He was sporting a new, bionic arm he had stolen from Forge's lab. Little did he know that Forge was planning a lawsuit for the theft of intellectual and personal property, and also for nearly killing him. But Bishop's main focus was to kill that baby, which deeply offended baby Rebecca. He went in for the kill, but at the last minute, the Professor jumped in the line of fire sustaining a bullet to his head. Just a moment before, Cable had quickly teleported Rebecca and himself away to the future.

"Oh, my God," exclaimed Emma Frost. As soon as she had spoken, Rogue walked by in such a daze that she didn't notice the lifeless body on the floor. Emma saw her and remarked to the others:

"Everyone, Rogue is walking right past," as she spoke Rogue kept walking at a very fast pace, "and now she's out the door. Can you plebians hear me?"

"No, like what did you say?" said Jubilee.

"What the hell are you doing here?" gasped Emma.

"Like, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm the co-headmistress of the school now."

"Like, there, like goes the neighborhood."

"Would you two shut up!" yelled Cyclops.

Just then Gambit walked in.

"Mon Dieu, what happened? There's blood but I don' see a body," he said in an astounded tone.

"What?!" yelled Cyclops.

"Oh, I remember. He's gon' be teleported somewhere else and den' he's gon' come back," stated Remy.

"You just ruined the whole plot, you idiot!" yelled Bishop.

"At least I'll now be relevant again, mon ami."

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going home," said Cyclops turning to go. All the other X-Men, except for Gambit and Bishop, exited. Gambit stared at Bishop with a familiar gleam in his eye.

"I guess we gon' have some fun now ain't we," Gambit said sadistically.


End file.
